Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Eat... More?

I had my third fill on Monday.  It was with the new PA.  She seems nice enough, but she had to stick me twice.  It didn't hurt (much), but did cause me a bit of anxiety.  But then I got a Snoopy bandage, so all is right with the world.  I was a tad tight afterward, but now I feel great.

I also met with the nutritionist on Monday.  She took one look at my diet (which I printed out from MFP) and told me that I wasn't eating nearly enough (read: any) vegetables.  She actually told me that I need to eat more in general, even when I'm not hungry.  I have never in my life been told to eat more.  This is very counter intuitive for me - aren't you supposed to eat less when you're trying to lose weight?  Isn't the band supposed to control my hunger so that I want to eat less? 

This is difficult for me, the eating thing.  I guess that, since I count calories, I look at eating in much the same way that I look at budgeting (and my financial house isn't always in order, either).  I ask myself, "How much do I want that, compared to how much it costs/how many calories are in it?"  A lot of the time, I decide that I don't want anything, preferring the security of having those calories in my "bank."  Which leads me to undereat on a lot of days (okay, looking back at MFP, I've ended 16 out of the last 25 days more than 100 calories less than my target).  The same disordered thinking that sends me running to Taco Bell when I'm upset makes me hoard my calories until they turn into pounds lost on the scale. 

Am I ever going to have a healthy relationship with food and eating?  Is food ever going to just be fuel, rather than my best friend and worst enemy?

10 comments:

  1. I struggle with those same issues...and I HATE vegetables. I always have, and always will.

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    1. I like some veggies; that said, broccoli isn't always what I want to "spend" my calories on, you know?

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  2. Here I am nervous about my 1st fill on Aug 9th... I'm terrified yet thrilled all rolled together. I love veggies however so eating those isn't hard. Can you just drink the V8 juice?? Wouldn't that help you get what your daily intake is?

    Can you reassure me that once I get my 1st fill, I too, will not be hungry anymore?? Cuz right now... I'm ready to eat a horse!!! Okay, not really a horse but perhaps multiple runs thru the McDonald's drive thru.

    PS: I wish you would post more than two times per month.

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    1. I was nervous about my first fill, too. Luckily, my surgeon's office does all fills under fluoroscopy, which I think makes things a lot easier, if not completely fool-proof. I had restriction from the first fill, because my doc could see exactly how much to put in. Even if yours doesn't do that, I know you'll still be fine!

      I don't like V8 - I've never found one with a taste I didn't hate. I'm also not a fan of drinking my calories in general (I don't do protein shakes, even). I probably do need to just suck it up and eat my veggies. Now I just have to find some vegetables that I like other than broccoli and celery...

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  3. Nutritionists can't make up their minds from one minute to the next and will often contradict themselves within two sentences. There is an optimum level of calorie consumption for weight loss of an extended period but I think it's a matter of finding the right level for you.

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    1. It does frustrate me that the nutritionist tends to approach everyone with a "one-size fits all" methodology. That said, she works with the fact that I don't like protein shakes, rather than trying to get me to drink them, and I do appreciate that.

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  4. If you're not eating veggies and it's working for you - I say stick with what you know. Eat them when you get a hankerin' for em!

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    1. Thanks for this - There is something to be said for the fact that what I'm doing is working for me!

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  5. I struggle with the same things. And I do think it will always be a struggle for me. It's gotten a little easier over time, but I still have to constantly work at making good choices.

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    1. You're right - it will probably be a struggle for the rest of my life to relate to food in an appropriate way.

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