Friday, July 6, 2012

A tale of two cauliflowers...

So, I went to the cafeteria for lunch today, which is something I never do, but the lunch I was supposed to have yesterday got postponed to today, so whatever.  Cafeteria it is.  So, of course, I have to scope out the healthiest food option.  Salad bar?  Too tempting.  Pasta bar?  Not if I want to stay full for more than two hours.  Dessert cart?  Who are you kidding? 

Finally, I spot the "Healthy Living" option.  Alright.  Chicken stir fry.  I can do that.  It comes with two vegetables.  Okay so far.  The vegetables are rice and a cauliflower/carrot mixture.  This is where it gets tricky.  I don't want the rice.  And I don't like cooked carrots.  So, I look around - hey, right over there!  Two trays down from the mixed cauliflower/carrots - there's a tray of just cauliflower!  Perfect! 

Me:  "Can I have the chicken stir fry with a double portion of cauliflower?" 
Lunchlady:  "Chicken satay?"
Me:  "Stir fry, please?"
Lunchlady:  "No cauliflower with stir fry."  *points to cauli/carrot mixture*  "This with stir fry." 
Me:  "No?  I can't just...  there's plain cauliflower right there..."  *plaintive smile*
Lunchlady:  "No.  This cauliflower comes with the stir fry.  That cauliflower comes with the chicken satay."
Me:  "Really?  Just...?"
Lunchlady:  "No."
Me:  "Forget it."  *sighs and walks over to the sandwich line*

I ended up with a greasy grilled chicken breast, on which I had to use four napkins on to soak up the grease, and a cup of red grapes.  And then the co-worker I was having lunch with said, "That's not enough food."


Seriously, lunch should not be this fraught with peril.


  1. No, it shouldn't. Lunch lady be crazy.

    1. Right? Don't take your job so seriously, Lunchlady Naziface.

  2. OMG woman... I thought I lost you forever!!! Last week or maybe the week before I was adding and deleting links on my sidebar... and I looked to go to yours and you were gone. Well I thought your link was "sweet-addy" blogspot and up came a dark site with everything in another language! Holy hell... obviously it wasn't you!!! And I googled you or your name of the blog and up came a zillion other blogs and links galore. Thankfully I just found you on some random site who had your link!!!!

    I now can rest peacefully tonight!!! ha ha ha ha ha