I had my third fill on Monday. It was with the new PA. She seems nice enough, but she had to stick me twice. It didn't hurt (much), but did cause me a bit of anxiety. But then I got a Snoopy bandage, so all is right with the world. I was a tad tight afterward, but now I feel great.
I also met with the nutritionist on Monday. She took one look at my diet (which I printed out from MFP) and told me that I wasn't eating nearly enough (read: any) vegetables. She actually told me that I need to eat more in general, even when I'm not hungry. I have never in my life been told to eat more. This is very counter intuitive for me - aren't you supposed to eat less when you're trying to lose weight? Isn't the band supposed to control my hunger so that I want to eat less?
This is difficult for me, the eating thing. I guess that, since I count calories, I look at eating in much the same way that I look at budgeting (and my financial house isn't always in order, either). I ask myself, "How much do I want that, compared to how much it costs/how many calories are in it?" A lot of the time, I decide that I don't want anything, preferring the security of having those calories in my "bank." Which leads me to undereat on a lot of days (okay, looking back at MFP, I've ended 16 out of the last 25 days more than 100 calories less than my target). The same disordered thinking that sends me running to Taco Bell when I'm upset makes me hoard my calories until they turn into pounds lost on the scale.
Am I ever going to have a healthy relationship with food and eating? Is food ever going to just be fuel, rather than my best friend and worst enemy?