My surgery is on Wednesday.
I am freaking out.
What if I pay all of this money and have freaking bariatric surgery and I STILL CAN'T LOSE THE WEIGHT AND KEEP IT OFF????
I know that the band is a tool. I fully understand that it won't do the work for me. I'm committed to doing this, to changing my life. I've lost 18.5 pounds on my pre-op diet, and I want that number to keep going down. I have a million reasons for wanting and needing to lose weight.
But what happens if I fail?
My wife (who was very sick with food poisoning this weekend, the poor thing) has had about enough of listening to me ask this question. She says (with love), "Look, you never have a problem losing some weight. You're the master of losing 40 or 50 pounds. But what you can't do is stick with it. You never get past that 50 pound mark, and you certainly never keep it off. You need help. And this is designed to help you. And I know that you're making the right decision."
I love her for being so supportive, for drinking shakes two times a day and having soup for dinner for the last twelve days. I love that she's not one of those spouses bringing fast food and pizza into the house while I'm eating cottage cheese. I know that she's going to be there for me the whole way through this thing, and for the rest of our lives.
But despite all of that, I am still completely freaking out.