Monday, April 16, 2012

On being super...

I'd love to be able to recap what's been going on around here since last week (12 airline flights, two stopovers in Minneapolis, four hours spent in Salt Lake City, several Vegas jackpots won), but I honestly can't focus on much of anything, as I am in a lot of pain.

I don't know if it's my hernia, my GERD or a combination of both, but I started getting a stomach ache after lunch (salad) on Friday.  It continued all weekend, building in intensity.  It was so bad last night that I couldn't sleep.  Every time I move, I feel like my insides are about to be on the outside. And I feel like I can't take a sick day or even leave the office a little early, because my boss has been maniacal about reminding me that I can only take a week of sick leave for my surgery before I'd need to go on short-term disability.  And that's not going to happen.  I feel like he's watching my out-of-office time like a hawk.  I cannot wait for my surgery - at this point, I'm not sure if I'm more excited about the band or the hernia repair.

In conclusion, I feel like ass. 

And to add insult to injury, it is particularly loud in my office today.  See, I have this theory that I'm a "super hearer."  My wife believes that she's a super taster (and that that gives her license to eat nothing but chicken fingers and soup).  She thinks that she tastes things much more acutely than other people, whereas I believe that I hear things much more sharply than others.  Like chewing.  And doorknobs rattling.  These are things that set me on edge even when I am in the best of moods, and since I'm not in a good mood today, these things are driving me CRAY-CRAY.  The woman whose desk is next to mine has been on a personal phone call for over an hour talking about her savings account, all while the various mis-programmed chiming clocks that she has at her desk chime too many times on the hour.  Seriously, I heard 11 dings when it was 2 o'clock.  At the end of my rope, I had to break out my noise canceling headphones. 

All I want to do is go home and curl up in the fetal position.  *whine*

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