...so you may want to stop reading now.
There is not a word to describe what I'm feeling right now.
Work has gone off the deep end. Like, batshit insanity. I can't even... I have never been in a situation like this. I'm frantically looking for new employment doing anything else anywhere else (legal or... otherwise). I cannot stay here, I know that much. I'll be lucky if I can make it through another month.
I spend every minute I'm in the office trying (and failing) to fight off tears. I'm wearing my glasses today because my eyes are swollen and hurt and contacts are a no-go.
I'm being vague. I don't want to be, but I also don't want to get fired before I have a chance to quit. Suffice to say... it's bad. I've activated all of my network connections. I've applied to everything I'm remotely qualified for, in places that include Kansas, Ohio, Michigan and Illinois. This morning, I wrote a really enthusiastic cover letter about how much I love beef. I meant it sincerely. I would bathe in raw hamburger if it would get me out of this place.
I'm trying. I have to get out.
I'm so stressed that I haven't been able to eat anything at all since Wednesday. It's not my band, really - I just find the very thought of food completely repulsive. I literally gag at the thought of eating anything.
I am planning to spend the weekend hiding under the covers watching The Hunger Games on Blu-Ray, snuggling with my dog and my wife, pretending that there's a way I can 1) have a job and 2) not hate waking up in the morning because I have to go to my job.
Updates about Vegas to come maybe next week, when I don't feel like the world is going to end.
(God, I'm such a Drama Queen.)
I'm so sorry. I hope you are able to find a solution as soon as possible. Preferably one that does not require bathing in raw meat. ;-)
ReplyDeleteI don't think you are being overly dramatic...well, other than in humor. :-) It is extremely hard to be miserable in a place you spend the majority of your life.
I hope the Vegas trip was great...and you are able to really relax find your center again over the weekend.
Good Luck! Sorry it sucks so bad!!
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry your work situation sucks right now. I felt the same way when I left my last job. It was unfortunately ONE person that made my life a living hell. I am fortunate to be in a position I love now. Things happen for a reason. Hang in there. Hope you are out soon and much happier.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear you are in that situation. That is exactly how I felt this time last year at my old job. I even had my sick days planned out so that I was taking almost a day off every week. It was horrible. Having to go to a place you hate every day is emotionally draining. I sincerely hope you find something new very soon!
ReplyDeleteGood luck on the job hunt! I was in a place a few years ago that was so bad I was hoping to hit by a car on the way to work just so I didn't have to go. It will turn around and u will find something soooo much better!
ReplyDeleteSorry you're having to deal with this, hon. If you need to vent, shoot me an e-mail!
ReplyDeleteTry to enjoy your Sunday.