Do you take Diner's Club?

I admit it - I went Girls Gone Wild in my early 20s.  Not in the sexy way (well, okay, there was a bit of that), but in the spendy way.  But instead of this:

It was more like this:

Sure, I bought my fair share of useless stuff, but I bought way more than my fair share of crappy food.  In any given week, 80% of my credit card balance was spent on beer, fast food and bar food (the other 20% was spent on DVDs and junk from Target).

Even after I graduated from college, I continued to spend like crazy, almost entirely on food.  Dining out every night, plus groceries (because I need midnight snacks, right?).  I remember going to the grocery store once and only buying beer and cookies.  With a credit card.  I had a relatively high paying job and no student loan debt, but I was living eating way above my means.

I was lonely, I hated my job and I was bored.  I was out of control, both in spending and in eating.  Spending and eating were so highly correlated for me that I ended up with $12k in credit card debt and weighing 314 pounds.

I haven't used credit cards in more than three years (with the exception of the plumbing emergency right after we moved in to the new house).  Today, I made a $12,462.06 payment on my MasterCard.  That was the balance of what I ate in my early 20s.

According to my math, I just paid $87.76 for every pound I gained over my target weight.  As unbelievable as it sounds, I paid to be fat.  With interest in the form of stretch marks, acne and GERD.

The MasterCard is paid off now.  I'm done paying the debt I accrued in order to be fat.  Now, if I have to accrue a little debt to get my band, to be healthy - I'm going to do it without hesitation.

The Happiest Place on Earth

*sigh*

My wife is a huge Harry Potter fan.  Her big dream is to go to Universal Studios and do the Harry Potter experience or whatever it is that they have there (not being a huge Harry Potter fan, I have no idea what it's called and honestly don't care enough to Google it).  When I started investigating WLS, I told her that I would take her to Disney World and Universal Studios and the whole Orlando song and dance a year after I got my Lap Band.  I figured that gave me enough time to lose enough weight that I wouldn't be incredibly anxious about fitting on the rides.

And then the wife found out that I'm going to Orlando in April (for work).  At the same time that good friends of hers will be driving through Orlando.

*double sigh*

In other words - "You don't fit on this ride, fatty."

And now I've been roped in to a two-day side trip to Disney World and Epcot (not Universal Studios, because the friends think it's a waste of time).  Suddenly, The Happiest Place on Earth feels a lot more like:

I've been doing my research, and it does seem that many, if not most, of the rides at Disney/Epcot are of the type that will accommodate my girth.  That said, I'm so worried about those that might not that I kind of don't want to try anything, lest I be humiliated in front of the wife and her friends. 

I wish this trip was happening next year.  Hell, I wish I hadn't let myself get to this size in the first place, as I wouldn't be having this anxiety now.

One day, I will go to an amusement park without a second thought, and I will ride every single ride, probably more than once.  I promise myself that.