A tale of two cauliflowers...

So, I went to the cafeteria for lunch today, which is something I never do, but the lunch I was supposed to have yesterday got postponed to today, so whatever.  Cafeteria it is.  So, of course, I have to scope out the healthiest food option.  Salad bar?  Too tempting.  Pasta bar?  Not if I want to stay full for more than two hours.  Dessert cart?  Who are you kidding? 

Finally, I spot the "Healthy Living" option.  Alright.  Chicken stir fry.  I can do that.  It comes with two vegetables.  Okay so far.  The vegetables are rice and a cauliflower/carrot mixture.  This is where it gets tricky.  I don't want the rice.  And I don't like cooked carrots.  So, I look around - hey, right over there!  Two trays down from the mixed cauliflower/carrots - there's a tray of just cauliflower!  Perfect! 

Me:  "Can I have the chicken stir fry with a double portion of cauliflower?" 
Lunchlady:  "Chicken satay?"
Me:  "Stir fry, please?"
Lunchlady:  "No cauliflower with stir fry."  *points to cauli/carrot mixture*  "This with stir fry." 
Me:  "No?  I can't just...  there's plain cauliflower right there..."  *plaintive smile*
Lunchlady:  "No.  This cauliflower comes with the stir fry.  That cauliflower comes with the chicken satay."
Me:  "Really?  Just...?"
Lunchlady:  "No."
Me:  "Forget it."  *sighs and walks over to the sandwich line*

I ended up with a greasy grilled chicken breast, on which I had to use four napkins on to soak up the grease, and a cup of red grapes.  And then the co-worker I was having lunch with said, "That's not enough food."

*sigh*

Seriously, lunch should not be this fraught with peril.